Personal Reflection on Worth

There is a patch of lounge carpet worn through. It’s directly underneath my feet.

Every morning I am here, aiding my leg muscles to unclench. 

I have Fibromyalgia. I have been forced to restructure my life. It amazes me how much personal growth happens while I am rooted to the spot. And through a neural rewiring programme I am now active once more.

It’s all about sense of worth and belief in change.

In the last year and a half I have been negotiating the assumptions that I am am a failure. These were force fed to me during my time in the education sector. The same expectation of failure was also forced on many pupils. The encouragement of the few at the expense of others,some might say. At a time when schools are at the centre of much debate surrounding COVID, I feel a particular need to write this down, even though I have not been directly in a learning environment for a few years.

But in my life as Coach, Consultant and Trainer these assumptions have been overturned. Today I have the challenge of marketing my skillset. Later, I will meet a new coaching client ready to transcend the limits of the computer screen and fill my workspace with inspiration, courage and resourcefulness. Later still, I will be editing a chunk of my novel ready to send to my writers’ group. This means I am assured the creative serotonin boost I crave as my mind flits off.

I have learned that limited physical circumstances does not mean limitation.

This one worn out spot.

It testifies to the richness of my life.

I have also learned there is no ‘dis’ in my ability. Now I can walk again and feel the wind or sun on my face as I jog alongside my dog, I feel inspired. Now I can accept the unpredictability of life better. And even though I experience the emotional anxiety of the pandemic, most of the time I can accept the path that life has currently taken me on.

Being open to the experience is all. Being able to pick myself up when I falter is all. Recognising all, is all.

Photo by Kenrick Mills on Unsplash

#COVID #disability #neuroplasticity #lightningprocess  #fibromyalgia

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