Oliver came to coaching hoping to increase his self-belief and to find more meaning in life. He was already happy with much he did- working out, practicing mindfulness, and karting. But something wasn’t gelling. There were days he felt very low, days he doubted his ability. His goal was to believe he could make progress- both in his personal and professional life.
He recognised his path, wanted to change it, and explored core values. His goals came from those.
From the start Oliver wanted to carry complete responsibility for his journey. He said having a coach would push him further than if he was trying to make change on his own.
In our sessions he explored the past and pinpointed its affects in the here and now. He looked at those incidents and took key learning points away from them. With this new knowledge he then defined his values. He remembers thinking “Certain things need to change here.”
The most effective tool he found was the “Wheel of life.” It helped him stay true to his goals and he still keeps a copy on his laptop now. He addresses it every couple of months, likes to see the numbers balance out and uses it to plan for his future. He says he stopped belonging to ‘tick list’ culture once he found this tool, and he only directs energy now towards the major tasks of any given day.
He decided big bucks were not important. He wanted life to have meaning, to be contented and be of service to others.
Oliver looked back over those memories of feeling humiliated in school and could see with the eyes of an adult that the kids who bullied him were motivated by snobbery. That was a quality he did not want in his life anymore. Therefore, he decided he not to chase riches now.
Oliver’s self-belief emerged in three stages:
Stage 1– the realisation: ‘I need to be happy where I am.’
Oliver realised he was not proud of his life, and this needed to change. Through coaching he found he could look back, stay in the present, and look to the future with positivity. He learned to honour the person he had been back then, but also to carry forward his new sense of self. He said this transformation was due to coaching. He said the review was a fantastic experience. It was like standing shoulder to shoulder with his coach and see his progress glowing. Got him thinking ‘wow I have come a long way.’
Stage two – Oliver replaced tick lists with only working on tasks he enjoyed. As a result, he has changed his job and works in branding, web design and business consultancy. He is self-employed.
Stage three – As a result of working hard on stages one and two, Oliver now believes in himself. He says the more he practices the better he becomes.
Since finishing coaching Oliver has noticed other benefits:
Firstly, an enormous sense of happiness, a boosting of his confidence, a key realisation that he’s proud of where he’s come from. In addition, he’s persistent with issues that resonate with him.
Secondly, coaching has taught him new skills, but has also highlighted powerful ones he already had. He is leading the life he truly wants to live.
Oliver found the process of coaching Invaluable and is mighty glad he did it. He feels people can be sceptical about the possibility of change (ironic considering the heavy emphasis society currently places on punishing the self, all in the name of ‘self-improvement’). He says the percentage of those happy with their lives must be small and there should be more of ‘em! He knows practicing the right things at the right time led to his change.
He wanted to move in an authentic direction before the life coaching, but knows the process helped enormously. He is happy on a day-to-day basis, aware of his strengths and wants to live out core values through his work. He says, “the bird has been let out of the cage.”